Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Boot Camp T-minus 7 days.

I can't believe I take the plunge into Tracy Anderson's boot camp in a week! I do have faith that I can do it, the blog of a friend of mine really inspired me. She did the boot camp despite life trying to get in her way.
Check her out at www.bombshelllolita.com
I actually got the idea from her blog to get the Mizuno Inspire shoes for my dance cardio. Great decision! If she was able to do it, I can too! 
I do admit, I am a little scared.  More like the fat girl who lives in my brain and took over is scared.  Lately i have gained even MORE weight from doing nothing and getting sucked into school.  I partially think my birth control MAY be to blame, but I don't really think so, as earlier in the year I was losing inches even without dieting.  I do notice that lately I have been VERY uncharacteristically indulging in sugary things, especially Coke. This has to stop. It's about to get a little personal here so bear with me.
I am afraid of the following things happening:

1. Afraid of having to get used to my new body when the time comes.
2. Afraid that people will treat me differently when I am smaller
3. FREEDOM from the prison that being obese has kept me in. Freedom of any kind is scary when you are  not used to it.
4. Afraid I will still find flaws in my body and continue to think that despite my efforts, I am still "fat" (this scares me the most) 
5. Afraid of adopting a new, healthy eating, active lifestyle
6. Afraid of falling off the wagon and losing all my efforts
7. Afraid that some of my friends will treat me differently when I lose weight.  I hear this happens a lot, actually.
8. Changing my entire eating habit, foods, exercise, etc. I will be giving myself a complete overhaul. 
I also need to make a last minute shopping list depending on when I actually go to the store. Hm. 
Also, if you aren't already, follow me on twitter @teenytinyquest!

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya on all of those counts. It's scary, and my fat girl is really big and strong. Since adopting a healthier lifestyle she has been so loud in my head, and I've caved a few times. Why is it that I can eat healthy without thinking about it and succeed, but when I make a concerted effort, when I "go on a diet" she goes mad for cupcakes? I'm not sure I'll ever win that battle.