Friday, October 15, 2010

Back to the drawing board.


I'm a bit disappointed in myself.  These past couple days I have been totally feeling out of control of my eating, and I totally wrecked my diet for the rest of the week.  I used up all of my weight watchers points and THEN some. Today and yesterday I was just feeling like I was stuck on an emotional roller coaster- mood swings galore! (my monthly buddy is on the way, and this time he's acting out~!)

I decided to take these few days until Monday to prepare to begin Weight Watchers again, clean slate. I even dug up an old empty notebook I had.  I looked up online what exactly is in Weight Watchers journals, and as of now, wrote up journal pages for two weeks beginning October 25, which is this Monday.  

I am going to try to calm my body down over the weekend.  I feel SUPER bloated (which isn't helping matters) and from what I have read, drinking more water and green tea is a great way to flush it out. So attempt I shall!

Earlier today I was feeling pretty hopeless, like can I EVER start dieting and STICK WITH IT?!  I hope this next time isn't such a misadventure as this past month has.  

Your support here and on facebook is also greatly appreciated as always. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Hey Roxy, I was just asking about you on TAM fb, wondering where you were at.

    Please, please don't go down this road of self bashing and starting and re-starting diets. I'm only saying this because I have been here sooo many times over the last, shit, nearly 20 years (starting at 15, now I'm 34).

    If I can offer you any of the "wisdom" (& I use the word lightly) that I have learnt most recently is this (my own blog goes on about this at great length but here's the cut down version): try to focus (I mean REALLY focus) on whatever progress you do make however small. Remember baby steps.

    I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but maybe if I share some of my "aha" moments, you might find something from it that will help you along.

    What has helped me was to worry about the activity more than the food in the initial stages. Of course, food is important but this gave me permission to focus on one more than the other. So, I'd set goals around exercise. The other thing I did was decide that there was no more "starting again". EVER. Life always throws something in the way and I was sick of getting on and off the ride. I would learn from mistakes and celebrate my wins, no matter how small. Each day building on the next.

    For me, I started off with TAM mat workout and went for the goal of 6 days a week knowing full well it was unlikely to be met. But here's the important bit. Each day I did it I would take the time to be pleased with myself. The first 2 weeks I'd done it twice per week. Instead of saying "Well, I f-ed that up and missed 4 workouts each week", I'd say "I did 2 workouts each week... that's 2 more a week than I used to and that's 2 weeks in a row I did something consistent! YAY me!". Then I'd set a goal for the next week: Shoot for 6x a week, but at least try to squeeze one more in... and so on. Same with the cardio. I've got BDC. Started off not being able to do 2 combos back to back (instruction then full tempo). Slowly but surely, acknowledging each baby step forward, I increased this to 3 combos back to back a couple of times a week and did this consistently for a few weeks. Before I knew it I was able to do all 4 in a row. Now, I can do 40 min straight at full tempo.

    Then the food bit. I love food. I can eat and eat and eat. I won't bore you too much with the details of what diet, etc, it's not important, but my ultimate goal is the 80/20 rule (80% healthy, 20% GUILT-FREE indulgence). As with the exercise goals: baby steps. Each time I stop myself mid binge or make a good choice I'm acknowledging it as a step forward, rather than focusing on the slip itself. By all means use WW as a starting point, but don't kill yourself over not sticking to it. Even tho you've used up all your points and then some, I'll bet you still had a few meals in there that were healthy and you probably still didn't eat as much as maybe you have in the past.

    I always look back over time and look at what I've improved along the way. You will have slip ups, but after a few weeks you can most likely say that your choices were better a few more times each week.

    Build on each progression. If you focus on what you have achieved, you feel more empowered to continue in the same vein. If you just beat yourself up you'll be forever "starting again" and inevitably "failing again". That's a downward spiral and a sucky place to be.

    Sorry for dribbling on (turns out it wasn't such a cut down version after all), but I felt compelled to share a bit of my own struggle in case you could get something out it that helps in some small way...


  3. oops... trashed the first one by mistake. Probably should've left it trashed for fear of boring you to death.

  4. Hey Roxy. Just wanted to let you know that you can do this. It is totally possible for you to get control of your eating and exercise regularly and lose the weight and get the body you want. So try not to get down on yourself and remember that most people fail several times before they get something right. Everyone seems to know that in the business world or whatever, but it's the same way with this. You have a goal, you know what you need to do to achieve it, but there are going to be some setbacks along the way. That's okay, as long as you keep moving forward.

    My one piece of advice though would be to stop the "starting over" mentality. Just start doing better RIGHT NOW. Don't say to yourself, "Well, the week is ruined so I'm not bother with the next two days and I'll start again Monday." That's another bad game your mind is letting you play, and it's counterproductive. If you can get in the mindset that every good decision counts, then it will help you alot because then you'll realize that even if eating right and exercising on Saturday and Sunday don't net you a loss for the week, you're still better off for doing well those days because it made your body feel better, it got you more used to eating healthy and exercising, and it made it so you didn't gain any more weight.

  5. I've been feeling the same way but it's never too late to re-commit ourselves. Starting today!

    Can you share the WW journals pages? Are they helpful?